Based on 405 community votes, the most popular answer to “Should I Support My Dad's Wish to Stop Dialysis?” is “Respect his wish and keep it secret” — chosen by 59% of voters.
Category: health • Theme: Respecting Autonomy vs Family's Hope
I never thought I’d be in this position, but here I am. My dad has been on dialysis for nearly two years after his kidneys failed. He’s always hated the treatment—the exhaustion, the strict routine, the endless needles. Last week, after yet another hospital visit, he quietly told me he wants to stop. He says he’s tired, and he’s had a good life. He doesn’t want to be hooked up to machines anymore, even if it means less time left. Some of my siblings are furious—calling it giving up, saying he just needs more encouragement to fight. Others are quietly supportive but afraid to say it aloud. Dad asked me, specifically, not to tell his doctors yet. He wants a few days to get his thoughts in order and talk to everyone himself, but he made it clear this is what he wants. I’m torn: I promised him I’d keep his confidence, but the rest of my family wants updates, and I see the pain etched on their faces as they talk about grandkids’ birthdays and the holidays he’d miss. I keep replaying his words and his wan smile, wondering if supporting him means letting go too soon. At the same time, going against his wishes—either by trying to change his mind or by telling the doctors—feels like a betrayal. No option feels right, and every day I wait, the pressure on all sides grows heavier. What would YOU do?
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